In looking over my recent posts I’ve realized that I haven’t really done too much updating about what is ACTUALLY happening in my life. Sure, you’ve seen a fictitious political convention of Mikes, and, yes, you have heard me discuss daytime television, but I haven’t really told you anything substantial. That likely has to do with the fact that nothing very substantial has happened! Nevertheless, I do have a couple stories to tell…
The first is that Heather and I met the awesome and charming Mommy blogging legend Meghan and her hubby DJ in Santa Barbara on Saturday! This was a very fun experience except for two problems:
PROBLEM ONE - We were at one of those hip college bars where the waitresses (impossibly skinny and attractive nineteen-year-olds) dress as sexy football players. Now, back in the day, I remember going to these kind of bars, and they were always very playful and known for their controversial names of drinks. So, when our waitress came over and mentioned their specials the following awkward exchange happened:
WAITRESS: “And we have a special on buckets of -”
ME (interrupting): “Fuckets? Woah! These bars are nuts! What are you offering, hon? Fuckets? What the hell is a fucket?”
I laugh hysterically and look to my wife. She eyes me like I am mentally challenged. I then look to Meghan. She is trying to be polite but clearly thinks I am a fool. I then look to DJ. He is staring at the waitresses’ breasts. (Not really, but that would be a good punch line! In truth he too thought I was a Simple Jack.)
A long, awkward beat passes until…
WAITRESS: “I, uh, said bucket. Just bucket.”
ME (mortified): “I see. Well, uh, we’ll take two.”
After this disasterous moment things rebounded until the end of the night when…
PROBLEM 2 - Heather told me she had to throw up thanks to a large helping of carnitas and margaritas and needed to leave immediately. We quickly got the bill and headed out.
Once on the street Meghan and DJ suggested getting ice cream, but Heather’s poor (drunken) stomach meant we had to leave. So we, uh, ran off.
On the way to the car Heather felt better and became worried that Meghan and DJ thought we had ran off and abandoned them. I told her she was insane just as Heather’s cell bleeped. It was a text from Meghan that read: “Am I drunk or did you just run away from us?”
So I guess we did. But it was none of my doing! Anyhoo, Meghan and Heather texted for the next ten minutes and squared things away so much so that they’ve started this site!
Hmm. I should also mention that, even though I am a baseball fan and not huge on football, I had a great time at the party Heather’s parents once again hosted for the first USC football game of the year. They always go all out and get a margarita machine, old style popcorn maker, and put three or four TVs outside by the pool, each of which plays the game! Oh, and they grill awesome food and make great appetizers. The party was great, as are Heather’s parents!
Well, I got nothing else except for the fact that I am the real father of Bristol Palin’s unborn baby, but that story is boring.
They told me those margaritas were non-alcoholic.
heather…s last blog post..Flotsam & Jetsam
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Note to self: spitting morning tea over the keyboard when you laugh at someone else’s embarrassing hearing mistakes is not big and not clever!
Willows last blog post..79,000 forgotten words
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Um, Mike, had you already had a drink or two prior to heading out Sat. night?!!
gins last blog post..Guard a what?
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Whooo Mike, that poor waitress probably spent the next 10 minutes trying to bribe someone to take that table for her.
Anna Maries last blog post..A Breakthrough Perhaps?
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wait a minute? what? you don’t like football? REALLY?
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Ohhhhhh, just BUCKET ALL!!
Get it? Get it?
No?
huh.
HeatherPrides last blog post..Warning: McDonald’s Toys Will Make You Blush
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I guarantee there is a bar out there that sells Fuckets. Probably just a shot of everything in a huge bowl. They don’t need to get too creative at a college bar.
If you guys were somehow even cooler than you are, when you got that first text, you should have replied, “Can’t it be both??” and let her be stupefied for a minute before straightening it out.
LiteralDans last blog post..A conversation with D-: Sleeping with one eye open
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Wow, fuckets! That’s great. I once made a comment along those lines and my husband was thouroughly mortified! I thought it was funny (after the fact), he did not!
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That was so much fun. And I’d totally forgotten the fucket thing. That was awesome.
And I love you guys enough that even if you DID run away from me I’d totally forgive you. Oh wait, that’s actually what happened. So…SEE?! I forgive you!
Can’t wait until Saturday! Think we’ll survive another adventure together?!
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Now hold on a second…. not a huge football fan?! I didn’t know you were a sissy boy!!! I’m closing my laptop in 21 minutes so I can watch NFL kickoff!!!! Have fun watching a “Will and Grace” rerun tonight, Nancy!
Erm… I’m totally kidding here… hope you didn’t take offense to it. But if you write a blog in a couple years about how Maddie twisted your arm behind your back and made you scream “uncle”, we’re gonna have to talk.
If you’re a Cubs fan though… I will be deleting you from my Del.icio.us bookmarks
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I’m back because I had to tell you that when I just emailed your wife (for the 354 time today, what of it?) I mentioned the “fucket” thing. And when my spell check ran it suggested I change it to bucket. See? Even spell check is sticking up for you.
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I assumed that when Heather said “I want to throw up, let’s go” that was totally code for “let’s stiff them with the bill”. Oh, fuckets.
Marinkas last blog post..Fewer Words Than Usual Wednesday
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Bahaha. Too funny. I hate it when my hearing goes in the presence of new friends!
Kristins last blog post..Cravings
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not enough pictures of maddie.
goodness, i love looking at pictures of her.. so ADORABLE!!!
and yes, i am asian.
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I feel for Heather. I actually had a much worse margarita experience that will be featured in my post this Monday.
Sorry about the buckets mistake. I’d say anyone could make it but… Well at least it was funny.
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I am torn…..
I love reading your blog
BUT you are a USC fan????
I think I might have to break up your blog.
GO BUCKEYES!!!!!
Jamies last blog post..Day Two
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