The Newborn Identity

Dec

I’ve Been Rescued After Being Lost at Sea!!!!

By Mike 22 Comments

Categories: Daily Briefing

Hi Everyone,

No, I haven’t been lost at sea. Perhaps metaphorically…but not literally. If I WERE lost at sea (I highlight the “were” because of all people Beyonce has taught this former high school English teacher about the past subjunctive with her song “If I Were a Boy”) I would be a lot skinnier than I currently am thanks to the plethora of fattening holiday foods I have been eating. My New Year’s resolution is to totally lose weight. And exercise and stuff. Or at least play Wii fit every once and a while.

ANYHOO…a lot of change has been happening here at Casa Spohr. As you saw in a previous episode Heather lost her job thanks in no small part to this dastardly economy. When that happened Heather and I were sort of nervous about what would become of us and our adorable baby, but then I got an opportunity to work for a great company (a company I had previously been doing freelance work for), and I took it.

What all this means here on this ol’ blog is that I need to be putting all my efforts toward making this job work as it keeps my wife, baby, and pup off the street. So doing well is sorta important. Also, I came to LA fifteen years ago with the dream to make it as a screenwriter. Eleven years after graduating from college I have made some inroads into the biz, but haven’t got to where I want to be as a screenwriter…you know…paid and stuff. Nonetheless, in the last few years I have been writing with a partner and we have done well…found representation amidst interest from many others…placed in contests….and made Big Foot laugh until he cried after reading one of our scripts (that one is a long story…we were camping in the Great North West when Big Foot arrived and asked to read one of our scripts We totally gave him one. It saved us from being smashed to pieces).

Long story short I won’t have much time blog anymore. I need to ensure that I kick ass at my new job so that I can take care of my family, and I also need to continue trying to make my dream of being a screenwriter come true. And with a wife and baby also to tend with I barely have time left to comb my hair (as most of you know as most readers here are parents too).

I may, however, from time to time, post something when I get a chance or if Maddie levitates or does something similarly impressive. So, if you like this site you should put me in your “reader.” I believe that is the correct term. In any event, to get updates on Maddie that are way more regular check out my wife’s site www.thespohrsaremultiplying.com. She updates most days and is very funny and poignant.

Best,

Mike

P.S. I still read the blogs for fun…more than likely yours included…and may comment from time to time. Or even post here! But for now I have too many fish to fry. Including a pup next to me who is howling for me to take her out to pee!

Nov

Thanks for Thanksgiving!

By Mike 14 Comments

Categories: Daily Briefing

When I was a little kid my parents took me to New York for a trip where we stayed at a fancy midtown hotel. This was the city where my Dad grew up, but when he lived there as a kid he didn’t stay in a fancy midtown hotel - he lived in a tiny apartment in the Bronx, which, for those not familiar with New York, is not the best part of town. When my dad got a little older he learned that his father was actually making a good living as a very successful lawyer, but kept the five person family in a tiny two bedroom apartment in the poor part of town because he was cheap. So cheap, in fact, that he used to wait until Christmas eve to go out to get a tree. He did this because he could catch the guys loading the trees onto trucks to be hauled away around midnight and buy one for a quarter or less. Rather than this being a bad memory, however, my Dad said it was awesome because he would go to sleep on Christmas eve with no tree or decorations, then wake in the morning with a decorated tree and presents! I can see how that would be cool, but still, I like the rituals of going to get the tree, setting it up, decorating it, setting down a few presents early, etc. In my grandfather’s defense, however, I should mention that he lived through the depression, and I think that all people who lived through those dark times, no matter how successful they may have become eventually, were always wary of spending a dime in case it never came back.

But that’s not the point of this post…that is bad writing to go off on a tangent right off the bat, I know.

Anyway, my point was that my Dad took us to a nice hotel where, in the lobby, some dude (sanctioned by the hotel) had set up a little stage to break dance upon in hopes of setting the record for longest consecutive break dancing.

So, when we arrived on Friday and checked in he was furiously break dancing. When, on Saturday morning, we got up to see the city, he was breakdancing. That Saturday night, when we came back to freshen up before we went to see a Broadway show, he was spinning on his back with a great intensity.

Later, when we came out to go to the show…break dancing. When we returned from the show…head-spinning. When we went to breakfast the next morning…”Rapper’s Delight” was blasting. When we paid our bill ready to go to the airport…guess what?….he was still breakdancing with gusto.

I have no idea if he got the record, but I can tell you this - I’ve often thought about this madman and his endless dancing, and wondered why he did it. The older I get, however, the more sense it makes. Endless breakdancing is what life becomes with age:

Marriage? Dance!

Baby? Dance!

Dreams you fight to keep alive? Dance!

The need to earn money for your growing family? Dance!

A home that never seems to stop needing cleaning? Dance!

A waistline that grows even as you eat less? Dance!

A million other things? Dance! Dance! Dance!

Long story short, as you all know, life gets harder as time goes on. A ten-year-old may look at the break dancer trying to set the record and marvel at his stamina, but an adult may say “You think that’s hard? Try my life!” My grandfather, if one his kids had ever bitched about his cheapness, likely would have said “We’re you there during the depression? No! Back then I had to dance to get a meal! All day long I danced just to stay alive!”

Thankfully we have holidays. This Thursday everyone from the ten-year-old marveling at the break-dancer to all of us adult break-dancers can kick back for a day and relax with family and friends.

So to everyone out there I hope you have a great day! Enjoy! These are the good times in life, and don’t forget, we have to start break dancing again on Friday!

Nov

Memories from the corner of my…something, something, something

By Mike 15 Comments

Categories: Daily Briefing

Now that Maddie has turned one she acts as if she got a memo from baby headquarters instructing her to grow up and fast. For example, not too long ago she would just flail about on her stomach like an Irishman the day after St. Patrick’s Day if I set her down, but now she sits up like a big kid! This alone has been hard enough to wrap my head around, but then Maddie did something amazing last weekend - she pulled herself up on her toy piano and looked over at me standing! It looked something like this:

I dig the air up here!

After a few seconds Maddie let out a cute little giggle as if to say, “Dude! What the heck am I doing? How did I get up here?” It was pretty shocking. I honestly don’t think I would have been all that much more surprised if she rolled her eyes at me and lit up a cigarette.

I try to burn all these memories into my brain so I will always have them with me, but the sad truth is that I’ve already forgotten so much about my life with Maddie. I look at old photos of us together and try to summon up what it felt like to hold her when she was so much smaller, or to see her smile for the first time, but I can’t. Not exactly. Why is it that I have trouble remembering something so important about my precious little girl, but will go to the grave with all of the lyrics to “MMMBop” stuck in my head?

Even worse is that Maddie more than likely won’t remember any of this stuff either. My Dad sometimes asks me if I remember living at a home we had until I was two, but I always have to say that I don’t. On the other hand a friend of mine did recently tell me she remembers laying in her crib and watching her parents having sex when she was a six-month-old, so maybe babies can remember these early days. Of course with my luck Maddie will remember none of the good things I do for her, but have some weird memory of me walking around in my underwear and scratching my butt.

I guess the point is that life is short enough as it is without our memories failing us for so much of it, and we really need to appreciate every moment. Thankfully there is technology to help…like the following Youtube of Maddie sitting up and dancing!